As a parent, it’s difficult to view your children from recorded footage, especially after you heard they have gotten in trouble. When I was growing up, I got in trouble a lot. I didn’t really act out as other children did, but I stood up to teachers that I thought were in the wrong. Now you can imagine that a lot of teachers had a problem with this. Looking back, I should have kept my mouth shut and I know now it was the wrong thing to call out teachers in front of other students. I also know that I wasn’t always right. I was right sometimes though, but my method was wrong. I wasn’t ever under video surveillance. I probably should have been in some instances. The problem was my mother always sided with me and I didn’t learn to properly take responsibility for my action until I was much older. My mom was a saint but I could have used a good kick in the pants.
Flash forward to today and I am now a father to twin boys. They are four years old and about to turn five. I love them like crazy but do not want to make the same mistake my mom made by assuming that they are in the right when they get in trouble. I want to instill in them that they need to respect their teachers and so as they say and follow the rules no matter how unfair they may be, within reason. I wish I had done that now looking back. I have been doing a pretty good job at that and disciplining then when they get home from school if they had a bad day or didn’t listen to their teachers. I won’t let them play video games or some other thing they really wanted to do if they misbehave at school.
My so has been having a hard time and gets in trouble a lot. He and another friend are always at each other either fighting or wrestling or just goofing off. They have a love hate relationship. Well as a parent that has learned from my past mistakes, I was very careful to make my son pay for his mistakes. After a few weeks of making my son take responsibility for his past actions, I decide to see what was actually happening on his school’s video surveillance camera. His school has Security cameras placed all over so parents can watch the video surveillance cameras from work or home. After one particular bad day, my son’s teacher assured me that he was not listening all day and had been bothering the other boy relentlessly. My son got in trouble and wasn’t allowed to play his favorite video game. He was of course very upset and I went upstairs to view the video and see what he was doing.
I was astonished at how much he wasn’t doing. It was very clear to me that the other boy was tormenting my son. My son made several attempts to play with the other boy and his supposed friend was plain violent to him. The teacher wasn’t even paying attention and my son was basically in defense mode the entire time. The other boy is bigger than he is and was taking toys away from him and kicking at him. This all happened with in the first hour. Suffice it to say, I was upset at the teacher and upset with myself. My son had to endure bullying for weeks just because I was so set in making sure that he didn’t get a free pass like I did most of the time. My son is not perfect t but he was not the instigator in this ongoing situation. The difference is that this other boy was very good at telling the teacher when my son did something to protect himself. My son never told on his friend. That was the difference.
I for one am glad that I was able to see this behavior with my own eyes. Who knows what turmoil my son would have had to endure if I didn’t catch what was really going on? The video surveillance system did more that catch crime or wrong doing at my child’s school, it saved me from being a bad dad.